By: Ambar Picasso, Psychologist and Life Coach
“Woman, your power lies within the limits.”
Last March 8th, we once again celebrated International Women’s Day, and there is no doubt that with this celebration, we are recovering the ground that a long time ago, with the industrialization of the world, women were not a part of. Perhaps it was convenient for the societies of the past for women to stay at home taking care of the family, and men exercised the spheres of power; fortunately, that is behind us. The point is that today many women find it a juggling exercise, playing all the roles we want. We are mothers, wives, friends, sisters, daughters, executives, businesswomen, and much more.
But where is the balance between playing all those roles and feeling that, at any moment, we will collapse? The answer lies in the limits, that is, in defining when we leave one role to enter another and not allow the mother to take work home, that the wife cannot enjoy an outing or a trip with friends, that the daughter becomes the mother of her parents and/or brothers, etc.
In our Latin culture, the role of women is very demanding; we expect women to be lofty and self-sacrificing beings who put up with everything until they drop for the family, but who falls for them, who sacrifices for them? Not many. And we could add image standards for women, such as being thin, elegant, sexy, loving but brave, not aging, but accepting age with dignity, preferably having a profession, or generating income. Oh!! But without forgetting maternal instinct, etc., ambiguously, some of these demands are opposed, all under a strong impulse from companies, which voraciously implant in women the need to change and look better in order to be accepted.
This month of May, in which we will celebrate mothers, I invite you to give yourself the gift of power and validation using the following formula that I share here, the “Formula of Power.” I also call it the formula of the 3 “P’s.”
First is the P for PREGUNTA (ASK), but you are not going to ask anyone anything; this time, you are going to ask yourself what you need, where you need to set limits, and delegate. Be aware that you cannot do everything that would probably be very tiring; one of the most remarkable qualities of successful executives is that they delegate, so if you need to delegate cleaning or cooking tasks in your home, look for that help, maybe you have to pay for it but remember that money is energy, and that energy will help you to produce more.
Second P for PIDE (Ask), another valuable practice is to sit down with your team or family and ask them what you require so that you can define the roles we discussed previously. Maybe you have to ask the members of your family about some things that you used to do for them and now they do for themselves; perhaps it will be to generate agreements so that you have space for yourself, travel, or go out with your friends or maybe be agreements with your siblings to support your parents when they need it.
Finally, the third P for PLANEA (Plan), it’s time to put on paper how you will take these small steps to recover your power and define which roles you want to play in your life, not by imposition but by decision. I recommend that you start with only three roles in which you apply the formula that I propose here, and you will see how power will be recovered in those three areas of your life; later, little by little, you will be able to implement said formula in the roles of your life that decide.
Thank you again for having accompanied me in this reading, and I hope to coincide very soon with another article to continue freeing our minds.
