I want to talk to you about something that sooner or later comes into our lives and that, for some reason, remains a mystery shrouded in silence: menopause. Many of us reach this stage not knowing what to expect, with doubts, fears and feeling alone. That’s why today I want to sit down with you, as an aunt or a mother would, to tell you some truths that I would have liked to know before.
Because no, menopause is not just “the hot flashes”
Yes, the hot flashes are real and annoying. Sometimes I felt like I was standing in the middle of the sun while the world went on with its life. But menopause is so much more than that. It is a profound change, hormonal, physical, mental and emotional. It is a readjustment, a closing of the cycle, and also -even if it is hard to see it at first- a new opportunity.
It’s not just the body, it’s also the mind
One of the first symptoms that took me by surprise was the mental fog. I found it hard to concentrate, I would forget things that I didn’t forget before. There were days when I felt like I wasn’t me. I worried that I was losing abilities. But I learned that this “absent-mindedness” is common, and that with patience, rest, and making space for myself, everything falls into place.
There were also moments of unexplained sadness, mood swings, and the urge to cry without knowing why. It wasn’t weakness or drama: it was hormones doing their thing. And while it feels very real, I want you to know that you are not alone, and that asking for help (from a friend, your doctor or a therapist) is not a sign of failure, but of wisdom.
The heart feels the change too
Many women don’t know this, but as estrogen levels drop, the body becomes more vulnerable to certain health problems, such as heart disease. I didn’t know this until my doctor told me about the importance of taking care of my blood pressure, cholesterol and, above all, moving my body. Walking, dancing, cycling… anything that makes that heart beat with joy.
Sleep becomes a challenge
If you are waking up at three in the morning for no reason, or if you find it hard to fall asleep, believe me: you are not crazy. Insomnia is a frequent visitor at this stage. Sometimes I couldn’t get back to sleep and would spend hours with my thoughts tossing and turning. What helped me was to establish a nightly routine, leave the cell phone away from the bed and practice deep breathing. The good news is that it passes. Not always, but it does get better.
Invisible changes… but real
There are subtle transformations that are rarely discussed. The skin becomes drier, the hair may become thinner, the nails more fragile. The body asks for more care. I learned to read it with more love: to moisturize better, to choose creams richer in nutrients, to avoid aggressive products. And above all, not to judge myself by the changes.
And what about desire?
Another big question that many do not dare to ask: what about sex? There may be vaginal dryness, discomfort, or simply less interest. And that doesn’t make you any less of a woman. Intimacy changes, yes, but it can also be reborn from other places: with more connection, more tenderness, more calm. There are creams, lubricants, treatments and above all, there is dialogue with your partner and with yourself. Don’t suffer in silence. Talking about it helps.
Each menopause is different
There is not only one way to live it. Some women go through it with hardly any symptoms, others feel their world falling apart. Some women enter menopause early (before 40), others after surgery, and many after 50. Your body has its own rhythm and its own history.
The power of being informed
I spent many years without knowing that what was happening to me had a name. That’s why I believe that talking about menopause is a way of empowering each other. We should not reach this stage feeling lost or ashamed. There is information, there are specialized doctors, there are support groups, and above all, there is wisdom accumulated in our own stories.
You are not alone (and this happens too)
Yes, it feels powerful. But it is also a time of redefinition. Menopause can be the beginning of a freer life: no menstrual cycles, no worries about pregnancy, more time for yourself. Many women discover at this stage new passions, new priorities, new ways of living.
I learned to listen to myself. To say “no” more often without guilt. To put myself first. To stop pleasing everyone and start pleasing me. And you know what? That’s healthy too.
One final tip, woman to woman
Talk to other women. Your mother, your friends, your aunts. Let’s talk about menopause naturally, with humor, with affection. Let’s remove the stigma, the fear and the silence. Because information is healthy. And company, too.
And if today you feel overwhelmed, confused or tired… breathe. You are not alone. We are many, thousands, millions, living the same thing. And we are here, accompanying each other, as we have always done, silently or out loud. But together.
With all my love,
A woman who’s been there 💜